Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
