i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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