my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
