Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
