Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
