I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
