I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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