im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
