i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
