Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
