Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
