It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
