that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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