hell yes lets make some ravioli
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
