OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
