Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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