the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
