I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
