I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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