i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I checked into jail on foursquare
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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