Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
