Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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