i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
