i just made my gag reflex go away.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
