Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
