xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
