am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
