my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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