R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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