i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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