I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
