You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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