So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
