I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
