I have demons in me.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
