Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
