Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
