champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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