Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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