let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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