does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
