yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
