who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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