she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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