help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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