It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
