So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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