Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i dont even know how to be here
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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