Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
