Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize