I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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