He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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