are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
