Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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