Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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