burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize