I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just found puke in my bra..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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