You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
