Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so let's talk penis.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
