It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
