I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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