did you get engaged???
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
