your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
