Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
