Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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