yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize