dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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