No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
